Blissed Out BabiesBlissed Out Babies
As parents, we all want the best for our toddlers, especially when it comes to their sleep.
But how often do we find ourselves caught in cycles of bedtime resistance, tears, or wakeful nights where our little ones seem to need us more than ever?
One key to breaking this pattern lies in proactively giving emotional connection — long before the bedtime battles begin.
Toddlers thrive on connection.
It’s through their relationships with us that they feel secure, understood, and safe in the world.
When a toddler’s emotional cup is filled, they are far less likely to demand connection through behaviours like clinging, tantrums, or frequent nighttime waking.
By meeting their need for closeness proactively, we can often prevent these situations from escalating into distress.
Imagine you’ve had a busy day, rushing from one task to the next, and barely a moment to catch your breath.
By evening, you feel frazzled and desperate for someone to just listen and be present with you.
Toddlers experience something similar.
If their day has been filled with stimulation but little focused connection, they may seek it in urgent and often disruptive ways — at bedtime, during the night, or through challenging behaviour.
Demanding connection isn’t a sign of manipulation. It’s a natural response to unmet emotional needs. When those needs are met consistently and predictably, toddlers can relax into a sense of security, which supports better sleep.
Proactive connection means intentionally creating moments of closeness throughout the day, so your child’s emotional needs are met in advance of sleep. Here’s why this approach works:
Reduces separation anxiety: Toddlers often resist sleep because it feels like a form of separation. By ensuring they feel deeply connected during waking hours, the transition to sleep becomes less threatening.
Builds emotional regulation: Regular connection helps your toddler develop the tools to handle big feelings. This means fewer meltdowns when it’s time to wind down.
Creates positive associations with bedtime: When bedtime routines include intentional moments of connection, your toddler is more likely to approach sleep with a sense of calm and cooperation.
Proactive connection doesn’t need to be complicated or time-consuming. Here are some simple yet powerful strategies:
Morning Snuggles: Start the day with five minutes of uninterrupted cuddles. Let your toddler set the tone by deciding whether they want to chat, read, or just enjoy being held.
Play Together: Dedicate time each day for child-led play. Follow their lead without directing or correcting. This communicates, “I see you, and I value our time together.”
Special Time: Set aside 10-15 minutes of one-on-one time where your child gets your full attention. Label it as “our special time” so they know it’s just for them.
Connection Rituals: Build small connection moments into everyday activities — a silly handshake before brushing teeth, a song while getting dressed, or a bedtime story with lots of cuddles.
Acknowledge Feelings: During tantrums or upsets, validate your toddler’s emotions instead of dismissing them. Saying, “I see you’re upset. I’m here to help,” reinforces their sense of security.
When toddlers feel connected and secure, they are more likely to approach bedtime with a sense of calm and cooperation. Nighttime wake-ups may decrease as their need for reassurance diminishes, and overall family harmony improves. But perhaps most importantly, proactive connection nurtures the bond between you and your child, laying the foundation for a lifelong relationship built on trust and understanding.
As you move through your day, think of connection as a gentle investment in your child’s emotional well-being and sleep. By filling their cup with love, attention, and understanding, you’re not just addressing their immediate needs but equipping them with the security and confidence they need to sleep soundly and thrive.
Ready to dive deeper into gentle sleep strategies? Explore my Taming Toddler Sleep program for tailored support that prioritises connection and calm.
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