Blissed Out BabiesBlissed Out Babies
As a parent, there’s nothing more heart-wrenching than hearing your toddler wake in the middle of the night, inconsolable and in full tantrum mode. These nighttime meltdowns, often occurring in the wee hours, leave many parents feeling exhausted, frustrated, and helpless. Why do they happen, and what can you do to navigate these challenging moments with more ease? Let’s break it down.
Nighttime tantrums are more common than you might think. Understanding the root causes can help you approach them with more empathy and a clearer strategy. Here are some of the key reasons behind these intense emotional outbursts:
Toddlers have small windows of opportunity for sleep. If they miss this window and become overtired, they’re more prone to tantrums. At night, this can translate into difficulty staying asleep, leading to intense frustration.
Between 18 months and 3 years, toddlers can experience separation anxiety, even during sleep. Waking up and realizing you’re not there can spark panic, which can escalate into a full-blown tantrum.
Toddlers are constantly learning new skills—talking, walking, asserting independence. While this is exciting, it can also lead to mental overload, disrupting their sleep and making it harder to settle when they wake.
Dreams are a natural part of sleep, but toddlers may have nightmares or even night terrors, which are intense and can leave them inconsolable upon waking. While nightmares are usually remembered, night terrors aren’t, and your child may not fully wake during one but still cry or scream.
Sometimes, the simplest explanation is the most accurate. Your toddler may wake up thirsty, cold, hot, or hungry, and not yet have the words to express this in a calm way.
While it’s natural to feel anxious when your toddler has a middle-of-the-night tantrum, there are some steps you can take to handle it in a calm, compassionate, and effective manner:
The first thing to remember is that your energy impacts theirs. Stay as calm and composed as possible, even if it feels like the tantrum is never-ending. Speak softly and avoid escalating the situation by raising your voice or showing frustration.
Whether it’s separation anxiety, a bad dream, or just frustration, your toddler needs to know that you’re there. Gentle physical contact—like a hand on their back or a soothing hug—can work wonders. Use comforting phrases like, “Mummy’s here,” or “You’re safe.”
Prevention can be the best cure. Ensure their room is conducive to sleep—dark, quiet, and at a comfortable temperature. Some toddlers benefit from a nightlight or white noise machine, especially if they’re prone to waking up scared or disoriented.
In the lead-up to bedtime, create a calming atmosphere. Too much screen time, sugar, or overstimulation in the afternoon or evening can make it harder for toddlers to settle at night. Instead, focus on quiet activities and a predictable bedtime routine to set the tone for relaxation.
Try to comfort them in their room as much as possible, but hey sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do, and co-sleeping or having some milk even if they’re night weaned might help!
Sometimes, despite your best efforts, nothing seems to calm your toddler during these nighttime outbursts. If your child is regularly having intense tantrums in the middle of the night, consider the following:
Evaluate Their Sleep Schedule: Are they getting enough rest during the day? While it may seem counterintuitive, overtired toddlers have a harder time falling and staying asleep. Adjusting their nap schedule or bedtime might help.
If tantrums persist with no improvement for more than a week or two, it may be worth speaking to your GP. They can rule out underlying health conditions.
I have a free sleep red flags webinar which covers the common health conditions that cause sleep problems and where to go for help.
Nighttime tantrums are one of the toughest parenting challenges, but remember, they’re usually a phase that will pass as your child grows and develops better communication and self-soothing skills. The most important thing you can do during these tough moments is to offer love, patience, and consistency.
Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Many parents are going through the same thing. With the right strategies and support, you can help your little one sleep more peacefully, and you’ll both wake up feeling more rested and ready for the day ahead.
If you’re looking for more support on how to handle toddler sleep challenges, check out my Taming Toddler Sleep programme . Together, we can create a sleep routine that works for your family, helping everyone get the rest they deserve.
Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Many parents are going through the same thing. With the right strategies and support, you can help your little one sleep more peacefully, and you’ll both wake up feeling more rested and ready for the day ahead.
If you’re looking for more support on how to handle toddler sleep challenges, check out the Taming Toddler Sleep Programme , my signature group sleep and parenting programme. I guarantee you’ll get better sleep or I’ll work with you for free until you do!
Together, we can create a sleep routine that works for your family, helping everyone get the rest they deserve.
Click here to book a free chat with Jem to discuss sleep packages and ensure we are a good fit. There is no obligation and I will only take clients where I genuinely feel I can change their lives.
I have three simple toddler sleep support packages, Read more about them here.
Yes! You can check out my free sleep resources here.