Why Toddlers Bite: A Gentle Guide for Manchester Parents

Why Toddlers Bite: A Gentle Guide for Manchester Parents

Why Is My Toddler Biting?

Biting in toddlerhood is incredibly common, developmentally normal, and, while distressing, rarely a sign that something is wrong. If your Manchester toddler is nipping at playgroup or siblings, you’re not alone. Toddlers bite because they’re still learning how to manage big feelings, impulses, and social dynamics. Here’s a compassionate look at why it happens and how to respond gently to support their 10-14 hours of restful sleep.

Understanding the Reasons Behind Biting

Toddlers (12-36 months) bite for a variety of reasons tied to their growth:

  • Communication: When words fail for frustration, anger, excitement, or overstimulation, biting becomes a way to express needs.
  • Sensory Exploration: Some toddlers bite to explore with their mouths, much like mouthing toys, especially during teething phases.
  • Overstimulation or Fatigue: Busy Manchester days, nurseries, parks, or noisy homes can overwhelm, leading to biting when tired or overstimulated.
  • Impulse Control Is Developing: The prefrontal cortex, which governs self-control, is immature until their 20s. Biting can happen in a split second.
  • Seeking Connection or Attention: Biting may be a toddler’s attempt to engage or get a reaction, not to hurt but to connect.

Reassuring Science Behind Toddler Biting

  • Biting peaks between 12-30 months, aligning with language delays, social learning, and brain development.
  • It often fades by 3.5 years as verbal skills, empathy, and impulse control grow.
  • Gentle, consistent responses teach alternatives without shame, supporting emotional growth and bedtime calm.

Feeling a bit better? Let’s talk about some practical tips for different scenarios…

Hi, I'm Jem

I have always been interested in gentle parenting techniques, and as a self confessed ‘geek’ I spent many a sleepless night reading. I became so interested in infant brain development and the science of sleep that I completed my Holistic Sleep Coaching qualification, mentored by the wonderful Lyndsey Hookway. I have been working as a toddler sleep consultant since 2018, I am based in Manchester but I can work with you from anywhere in the world online!

This coupled with my experience in settling techniques, toddler negotiation strategies and analysis of naps and sleep needs gives me a wealth of knowledge to be able help you. 

If you’re looking for help with making changes to your family’s sleeping habits and would like to speak to a toddler sleep consultant who is down to earth and sympathetic and will focus on you and your family with empathy and understanding then please get in touch.

I would love to hear from you!

Jem x

Book a FREE Action Plan Call To Hear How I Can Help
photo of Jemma Munford sat in a brown armchair

Gentle Parenting Scripts for Toddlers Who Bite

In the Moment

“I’m not going to let you bite. Biting hurts. I’ll help you find another way.”
This sets a clear boundary while keeping you calm and regulated – no yelling, shaming, or asking “why did you do that?” – just loving leadership.

Teaching Moments

“You were so upset and didn’t know what to do. Next time, let’s say ‘stop!’ or come find me.”
This names their feelings and guides them to better strategies, easing nighttime stress.

Scenario 1: Biting at Nursery or Playgroup

What Happens: Your toddler bites another child over a shared toy at a Manchester playgroup.

Gentle Response:

  1. Attend to the Hurt Child First: “Oh no, biting hurts. Let’s check if they’re OK.”
  2. Address Your Child Calmly: “I saw that you bit. I won’t let you bite others. You were upset – next time we can say ‘mine’ or ask for help.”
  3. Offer Comfort and Repair: If open to it: “Would you like to help them feel better? We could get them some water.”
  4. Stay Close and Support Regulation: Model calm with deep breaths or grounding (“Let’s take a breath together”) in a warm, firm tone.
    What Not to Do: Avoid forcing apologies, labelling them “naughty,” or isolating them – shame doesn’t teach, it disrupts trust and sleep.

Scenario 2: Biting a Sibling at Home

What Happens: Your toddler bites their sibling during a toy tug-of-war.

Gentle Response:

  1. Separate and Stay Safe: “I’m going to keep everyone safe. I see biting – let’s take a pause.”
  2. Tend to the Sibling, Then Reconnect: “That hurt, I know. I’m here with you.” Then return to your toddler calmly.
  3. Reflect and Teach: “You were angry when your sister took the toy. Biting is not OK – it hurts. Next time, you can say ‘I’m playing!’ or ask for help.”
  4. Rebuild Connection: Later, try a story or play: “Remember those big feelings? Let’s practice what we can do instead of biting.”

Script Bank for Repeating Biting

When biting persists, use these daily phrases to stay consistent:

  • “I see you’re having a hard time. I won’t let you hurt anyone.”
  • “I’m here to help you with that big feeling.”
  • “It’s OK to be angry. It’s not OK to bite.”
  • “Biting tells me you need help. I’m listening.”
  • “Let’s practice: What can we say when we’re upset?”

Regulating Yourself First

Biting can be triggering – shame, embarrassment, or anger are normal. Remind yourself:

  • Biting is behaviour, not badness.
  • Your toddler needs co-regulation, not punishment.
  • You’re doing enough. You’re learning, too.
  • Take a breath to stay calm.

Gentle Prevention Tips

  • Narrate Emotions: “You’re so frustrated – it’s hard to wait!”
  • Model Alternatives: “Can I show you how to stomp your feet instead?”
  • Offer Chew Toys/Sensory Outlets: Provide safe options for sensory seekers.
  • Stay Proactive in Play: Shadow closely at playdates or busy times to step in early.
    These steps reduce daytime stress, supporting restful nights.

Final Words of Reassurance

You are not a bad parent. Your child is not a bad child. Biting is a storm passing through a toddler’s early development. With your steady, loving guidance, they’ll learn safer, kinder ways to express their big, beautiful emotions – paving the way for calmer bedtimes and 10-14 hours of sleep.

Where to next?

Click here to book a free chat with Jem to discuss sleep packages and ensure we are a good fit. There is no obligation and I will only take clients where I genuinely feel I can change their lives.

I have three simple toddler sleep support packages, Read more about them here.

Yes! You can check out my free sleep resources here.

Perfect, in my book The Better Sleep Blueprint I share all my best guides and strategies for sleep up to 2 years of age. Check it out here.

You can also read more of my blogs here.