Blissed Out BabiesBlissed Out BabiesThanks for signing up to get my 7 best tips for helping your toddler sleep better.
I’m Jem and I help families to get better sleep with confidence, not cry it out.
I’m a mum of two, and have one great and one TERRIBLE sleeper. I’m on a mission to share all the tips and tricks I know to help parents like US get better sleep and do it in a way that feels aligned with your gentle parenting ethos.
Make sure they are having about the ‘right’ amount of sleep during the day and that the naps are spaced well to avoid over tiredness but also maximise sleep pressure so they can sleep well at night.
We all have a maximum amount of sleep we need in 24 hours so if they are napping too long, or going to bed to early, this will affect the night sleep.
THE most common sleep problem I see is that parents *think* their children need way more sleep than they do, so compare what your child does to the averages below.
As you can see most toddlers only need 12-13 hours sleep in 24, so if you’re trying to get your little one napping for 2 hours during the day and sleeping for 12 hours at night, can you can see where the problem is? This could be why they might be waking up during the night?
Play around with awake times and nap lengths to find the right balance.
Make the sleep environment as calm and relaxing as possible, a sanctuary of sleep!
Make the room pitch black, even a slither of light at dawn can disturb our little ones and mean you have a VERY early wake up.
Try white/pink noise to mask household sounds.
Tidy up any toys before putting your toddler to bed, any temptation of unfinished play can encourage them to be hopping out of bed as soon as the door is closed.
If your little one wakes close to bedtime and wakes early in the morning, it’s worth trying a slightly earlier bedtime.
If they are more wakeful in the second part of the night, they might need a slightly later bedtime or a shorter nap.
We’ve often been mis-sold the dream of children sleeping from 7pm -7am. Considering the average sleep needs above, if most babies will only sleep 12/13 hours in 24h and they’re still napping for 1-2 hours, it’s unlikely they will sleep 7-7.
So doing bedtime ‘too early’ might also be causing some of your problems.
Kids LOVE predictability. Doing the same bedtime routine every night will really help avoid a million negotiations.
Acknowledge that bedtime is another time of separation and that your toddler will find this difficult.
Focus on connection and you’ll find your little one is much more compliant. When we maximise connection we are giving them the tools to cope with the next separation.
Playing together and focusing on quality time in the evening is more important than having a bath every night.
For older toddlers, get them involved. Ask them what they like to do and in what order.
Then create your own checklist to follow – guess what? No more arguments!
There is some evidence that supporting children to fall asleep independently can help to reduce the frequency of night waking.
Firstly, I want to be clear that rocking/cuddling/feeding your child to sleep are not ‘bad’ associations in any way but gently supporting your child to settle in the cot without lots of intense parental intervention can help.
It is totally possible to do this without leaving your child to cry by themselves, which I never ask parents to do.
For example;
Instead of feeding to sleep, move the feed earlier in the bedtime routine and then settle in arms with cuddles, patting and shushing.
Or instead of rocking to sleep and then transferring once asleep, add in patting and shushing then gradually move to shushing and patting to sleep in the cot.
If your toddler wakes every time you try and get them back in the cot, could moving to a floor bed help?
One of the hardest things to do is to be consistent, especially when we are tired.
I totally get that, but not only does consistency mean your little one will feel really safe that they know what is coming, it is also helpful for you too.
Once things are working well, you can relax a little, don’t worry that you need to be running a regimented boot camp 24/7!
Follow the 80/20 rule and be consistent 80% of the time and give yourself a break the other 20% if you need to.
If you are struggling, ask for help.
You are not failing as a parent if your child/children don’t sleep well.
Sleep is one tricky beast and changes so much in the early years, it’s no wonder parents find it hard to keep up.
Try some self care, try to take some time out for exercise, breathing exercises or mindfulness. Whatever takes your mind off sleep for a while.
Parenting is HARD, and we cannot pour from an empty cup. Sometimes all we need is a few hours rest to feel energised and ready to tackle change.
So don’t feel too proud to ask for and accept help, after all, it takes a village to raise a child.
There we go, I hope that helps with helping your toddlers have their best night’s sleep.
Yours blissfully,
Jem x
I’ve been able to breakdown the complexities of toddler sleep and help hundreds of parents achieve better sleep and move forwards to loving their parenting lives.
Would you like me to jump on a free blissful night session where we can create a personalised strategy to get the best night’s sleep for your child. Here’s a link to my calendar to find a time which works for you.
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