I used to be able to set my watch by Max. 3pm every day he would start crying hysterically and this would go on until 10 or 11pm. Every day for what seemed like months.
None of the other babies in my NCT group did this, I wondered what on earth I was doing wrong but nothing I tried seemed to make any difference.
Then someone told me about colic… and it all made sense.
Technically, the term ‘colic’ describes a collection of symptoms with no obvious cause. The official NHS definition is that colic is ‘crying for more than 3 hours a day, more than 3 days a week, for at least one week (in an otherwise healthy infant).’
It usually starts when your baby is a few weeks old and typically passes by 3-4 months, although babies may still have it at 6 months.
Typical symptoms of colic are:
This is where it gets a bit complicated… we don’t always know the reason why babies get colic. And there are a few different schools of thought as to what causes it.
It could be
Babies with colic are extremely dysregulated. By keeping your baby close to you (and trying to stay calm yourself) you can support them through co-regulation.
Some babies like to be swaddled, this can help them to feel secure. If you do swaddle your baby, follow these guidelines keeping their hips loose and make sure you stop using the swaddle at 12 weeks (or before if they start to roll). Here’s a blog on how to get rid of the swaddle when the time is right.
Wearing your baby in a sling can help you to keep them close but still be able to have your arms free to do other things, I found this super helpful when Max cried for hours!
If we assume that the colic is related to tummy discomfort, then it makes sense to try and prevent trapped wind.
If you bottle feed your baby, it’s very easy to control the pace that they take on the milk, and feed them ‘too quickly’, and even overfeed them. I always remember being told to keep the bottle teat full when feeding babies so they ‘didn’t take in too much air’ but this isn’t actually best practice. Check out the vide below on how to bottle feed your baby in a responsive way AND learn a couple of tips on effective winding.
If you are breastfeeding, it’s worth reviewing the latch. Your baby’s nose should be at the nipple and they should be taking a wide open, deep mouthful of breast with your nipple to the soft palate. If you need support with this I recommend contacting and IBCLC for bespoke advice. Or review these helpful images from Diane Wiessinger, MS, IBCLC
Effectively winding your baby can help release discomfort from the pain of trapped wind. I always found it hard to get Max to burp, but when I was qualifying as a baby sleep consultant, I heard about this ‘wonky winding technique from Shel Banks and named by Lyndsey Hookway, it was a real game changer. I talk about it in the video above so take a look, but here are some simple pics.
It can help to get outside, fresh air, and being distracted by nature can help to regulate fractious babies.
If your baby doesn’t respond to going outside, try to sit somewhere quiet and dark, some think colic could be caused by overstimulation.
White noise, music, humming or singing may help to calm them(and you)! Personally I found loud shushing helped me AND Max.
The way you hold your baby can help to calm them, try the Tiger In The Tree pose shown here.
Hold them against your body, lying along your arm on their left side, their head at your elbow and holding them between the legs.
Massage is a wonderful way of connecting with your baby, and gently helping to relieve pain from digestive discomfort.
Massage can help to release oxytocin in you and your baby, so you will often feel the benefit too.
The video below gives you some ideas to try. I used to do a little tummy massage each time I changed Max’s nappy which seemed to help keep on top of that wind and prevent it getting really bad in the late afternoon.
There are plenty of remedies available on the market. Things like Infacol, Dentinox, Colief and Gripe Water.
Infacol and Dentinox are designed to make the gas bubbles join together so they are ‘easier’ to come out. If you try it and it works, great, if not, don’t keep wasting your money.
Colief breaks down lactose which can help if your baby had a lactase shortage or the milk has too much lactose for the body to manage. Colief is very expensive (around 15p per dose which adds up when your baby feeds 8 times a day!), so if it works for you, great but if not then don’t keep wasting your money.
Gripe water usually contains dill oil and bicarbonate of soda and is marketed as neutralising acid in baby’s stomach. This is a spurious claim, as particularly in the amounts consumed, it’s impossible to change the PH of the stomach! It’s more likely that the baby likes the taste than it impacts the stomach acid… so if it helps, great but if it doesn’t… don’t waste your money!
Having a baby with colic IS NOT related to how good a parent you are. It is not your fault. Your baby doesn’t hate you (I know it feels like that sometimes!)
It is tough looking after a colicky baby every day, you might dread going anywhere because you feel like people are looking at you, judging your parenting (I know that’s how I felt), you might not want to go to baby classes for fear of disrupting the class, or you might just generally be nervous of it getting to 3pm because you know the crying will start! I hear you, that’s how i felt. But please don’t suffer alone, go find a supportive friend or family member, or suggest meeting someone in the park.
If you don’t feel like you have that ‘village’ then maybe you could find a supportive space online. My monthly support subscription is just that – check out The Mothership®
It can be easy to dismiss lots of crying as colic, but you must remember that colic is defined as a baby who cries a lot who is otherwise healthy.
If your baby is crying a lot and has any other symptoms then get them checked out asap (the following list is just an example):